I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
