It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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