Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my being single is dangerous.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
