It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
