it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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