I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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