so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Its about making memories worth repressing
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
