I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
