Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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