Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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