Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
