i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've blown a few things in my day
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
