How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
