I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
