I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
