Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
