I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
