i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
