I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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