Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
