So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
