Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
