If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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