Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
