Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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