Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the condom got lost in my hair
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
