I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
