i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I want a musical about memes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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