I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
