This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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