Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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