wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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