omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
