My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
