I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
