Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
