We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
