do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize