Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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