ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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