is your mom at the bar?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
