on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
