I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
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I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
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these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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