dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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