I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
