Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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