This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
