What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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