I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
