even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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