haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
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i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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