i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.