Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
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i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
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In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy