Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.