You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
