NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
