Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
