the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
