Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
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i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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