You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize