that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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