I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?