Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
FUCK WHALES
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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