guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
